carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
