They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
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