Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
