Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
