He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
