He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You're like the curious george of whores
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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