Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
