i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Randomize
