Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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