white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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