You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
