Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
