At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
