If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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