So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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