Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
