You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
