Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
