Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
