too bad you live with your parents still
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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