just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
