then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
