you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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