"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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