I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
