I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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