So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
