i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
