he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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