Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it hurts more in the daytime
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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