she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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