We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
