yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
