Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
