Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
