I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
