you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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