im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
