I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
