somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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