rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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