You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
