Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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