What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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