So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
