I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
