I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I could fuck to npr.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
