Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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