So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
