so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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