Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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